The VAR Guy

The following blog entry is not intended to criticize those who are overweight. Rather, it’s meant as an open letter to all of America: If the portly among us don’t start losing some weight (The VAR Guy included), we may wind up grounding our airlines. Here’s why.

The VAR Guy, as you may know, was booked to fly to Texas today to visit Dell Channel Chief Greg Davis. The trip started off fine — until our resident blogger’s flight wound up delayed.

The reason? When the airline added up the passenger and baggage weight, the plane was too heavy to take off, according to FAA guidelines.

The VAR Guy sucked in his gut. He threw away a half-eaten donut. But it was too late. The damage was done. The airline asked four passengers — at random — to get off the flight, so that we could tip the scales in our favor. Or at least get the plane off the ground.

Fortunately, The VAR Guy remained on the flight. But the process of evicting four passengers delayed us an hour. Perhaps if the airline had offered a free buffet at the gate, more of us would have exited the plane faster. There’s nothing like a Denny’s Grand Slam breakfast to get a morning crowd moving in the right direction…

The net result: The VAR Guy finally got off the ground this morning but he wound up missing a connecting flight to Texas. Now, he’ll be forced to handle his Dell meetings with phone calls.

No worries, though. He’s now surrounded by plenty of food during his current layover. A burger and fries — the ultimate brunch — will surely take his mind off today’s delays.